Media Alert!
September 2025
BLOG #70
Sue Summers
MediaSavvyKids.org
“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” Romans 12:2 (The Message)
Thought-stopping Strategies!
Put-downs, slurs, insults, offensive sarcasm, verbal slings and arrows are all calculated to disengage from a conversation that one party no longer wishes to engage in. It’s a full-stop strategy especially common on social media and in guerrilla-style conversations among members of opposing groups.
Even among people who have relationships with each other – family, friends, classmates, neighbors, church or community members – sometimes responsible adults use name-calling as the way to stop others in their tracks and cause them to respond emotionally and often irrationally… and prevent further discussion.
In the field of mental health, there is a technique called thought-stopping “self-talk” which is used to remove negative ideas in one’s own thinking.
“Thought-stopping is a technique for interrupting unwanted or negative thoughts. Its goal is to help people gain control over their thinking patterns and reduce anxiety.
Thought-stopping can help deal with worries, self-doubt, or recurring negative ideas. By blocking these thoughts, you can replace them with more positive or realistic ones.” (www.universalcoachinstitute.com/thought-stopping-techniques)
In the world of mental health counseling, this approach has proven to be effective to overcome anxiety, depression, and self-hate thinking. This sounds reasonable and helpful, when these techniques are used to help combat inner negativity that keeps clients from feeling worthy or important.
This same strategy of interrupting thoughts and replacing them with a different intent is also effective when its purpose is to stop the conversation. And that is exactly what happens when put-downs, slurs, insults, and epithets are used in daily dialog, social media posts, verbal arguments, texts, and editorial rants.
“When you’re doing blatant name-calling, it means you’re using derogatory or offensive words to describe others. It’s meant to belittle and attack someone and is never viewed as a positive thing.” (https://grammarist.com/idiom/name-calling)
“When someone is angry, frustrated, and disappointed, instead of communicating their emotions openly, they’re likely to resort to name-calling to communicate their hurt.” (www.psychmechanics.com/psychology-behind-name-calling)
Name-calling causes someone’s rational thinking to stop and emotion to take over, resulting in disengagement from the conversation and all efforts are turned to self-defense in a futile effort to prove that this is not an accurate label.
Words like “pig” (used for police officers), racist, Nazi, idiot, dictator, fascist, zealot, bully, Left Wing, Right Wing, demeaning religious labels, and many other names are examples of verbal zingers that are meant to stop the dialog.
We hear and read these hateful designations being used in broadcast media, talk radio, music lyrics, political assaults, podcasts, and comedy routines without condemnation, as if it is acceptable because those targeted are public figures, anonymous people, or members of a large group.
“Name-calling is a destructive behavior. We must collectively reject this harmful practice and strive for a society that values the inherent worth and dignity of every individual.” (https://community-journal.com/2023/11/from-the-journal-the-dehumanizing-power-of-name-calling)
Hate speech is legally difficult to define, but we all recognize it when we hear it. It shuts down discourse and is meant to be a “thought-stopping strategy”.
Erika Kirk spoke eloquently at her husband’s memorial. She said:
“The answer to hate is not hate.
The answer—we know from the Gospel—is love.
Always love.”
So how can we help teens become media-savvy about the culture that surrounds them?
It’s essential to talk to the teens in our lives about the name-calling and hate-filled language that is spewed everywhere – on school grounds, on social media, in political speeches, in movies and TV programs – literally everywhere! Open discourse in the home, school, and church is necessary to eliminate racial, political, and religious put-downs. Use these discussion-starters to stimulate critical thinking and respectful attitudes towards others.
• Ask, “Have you heard hateful labels, insults, or put-downs at school? How did these remarks make you feel?”
• Share, “Sometimes music lyrics are disrespectful regarding particular groups of people.” Ask, “Why do you think these lyrics are used in popular music? Do you think these negative labels can have an impact on some teens’ attitudes or behavior?”
• Share, “When someone is angry, frustrated, and disappointed, instead of communicating their emotions openly, they’re likely to resort to name-calling to communicate their hurt.” (www.psychmechanics.com/psychology-behind-name-calling) Ask, “Does this match what you see around you each day?”
• Share, “Sometimes people make hateful remarks about the leaders and politicians in our government. Let’s read and discuss this scripture:
‘Remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding, always ready to lend a helping hand. No insults, no fights. God’s people should be bighearted and courteous.’” Titus 3:1-2 (The Message)
• Ask, “Do you think name-calling is hate-speech? Why or why not?”
• Share and discuss this scripture found in Ephesians 4:29-31 (Living Bible):
“Don’t use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing.
Don’t cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who marks you to be present on that day when salvation from sin will be complete.
Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives.”
• Ask, “What are some specific ways we can help those who are marginalized or mistreated in our school, neighborhood, or community?”
• Share and discuss Erika Kirk’s words spoken at her husband’s memorial:
“The answer to hate is not hate.
The answer—we know from the Gospel—is love.
Always love.”
• Note: Share this blog with your church’s youth pastor as a lesson for youth group gatherings.
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Sue Summers is a Christian media analyst, teacher, author, and speaker.
She is the Director of Media Alert!
Contact Info:
Blogs: MediaSavvyKids.org
Website: http://www.MediaAlert.org
Email: Sue@MediaAlert.org
#MediaSavvyKids, #ChristianParenting, #ChurchAndCulture, #YouthPastors, #YouthGroupCurriculum, #HelpForChristianParents, #TeensAndCulture, #AChangingCulture, #CriticalThinkingAndTeens, #IAmNotDefinedByTheCulture, #Discernment, #Thought-stoppingStrategies, #HateSpeechAndHurtfulLabels, #TeachTeensToThinkForThemselves, #EndNameCalling
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© Sue Summers 2025
Media Alert! 