Media Alert!
January 2025
BLOG #62
Sue Summers
MediaSavvyKids.org
“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” Romans 12:2 (The Message)
“Loneliness in Teens”
What? Teens are lonely? But why? Teens are surrounded by large numbers of other teens at school, sports, church, field trips, and at so many other outings, far more than any other time in their lives.
Yet loneliness is pervasive. Consider these findings:
“The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) recently did a large national survey and found that four out of 10 young people ages 16-24 were pretty lonely, describing themselves as: feeling misunderstood (not unexpected in teens); sad, suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out); not having anyone to talk with; and feeling detached from the world.” (www.mghclaycenter.org/parenting-concerns/why-are-teens-so-lonely-and-what-can-they-do-to-combat-loneliness)
And loneliness is damaging. “Among adolescents and young adults, loneliness increases the likelihood of headaches, stomach aches, sleep disturbances, and compulsive internet use.” (www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/202406/research-confirmed-loneliness-is-bad-for-your-health)
Instead of mingling and hanging out with their friends after school, teens are often alone, communicating via cell phone or playing video games with others online.
The BBC study cited above lists three causes of loneliness in all age groups:
• “First is the loss of a loved one or relationship with someone to which one has a strong attachment – a death, or breakup in a relationship, loss of a job, leaving a community such as high school, college, a job, or the military.
• Another cause is the feeling of being excluded from others, such as peers, family, or a community. This carries with it feelings of low self-esteem, devaluation, or a sense of absence of acceptance.
• And the third is super important. Loneliness does not necessarily mean being alone. It’s the feeling of aloneness even in the presence of others. Loneliness is a perceived, individual experience. There’s a sense of detachment, alienation, and isolation.”
Dr. Michelle Blain, a family dynamics counselor in California says, “Social media is trying to satisfy a craving to feel connected, but seeing people having fun without you may escalate feelings of loneliness that are already present.” (www.cedars-sinai.org/blog/why-loneliness-affects-young-people.html)
Clearly, social media can be a contributing factor to teens’ loneliness. FOMO (fear of missing out) is real. To them, it might appear the rest of the world is immersed in never-ending fun with everyone except them. The result can be feelings of isolation and despair.
The frenetic pace of many families’ lives can also be a contributing factor to teen loneliness. Bouncing from school to after-school activities (sports, music lessons, and other rigidly scheduled events) claims the “free time” that used to be “down time”, such as shooting hoops, hanging out with friends, chatting about the days’ happenings, planning for upcoming get-togethers, etc.).
Even when free time is available, many teens spend the time in “electronic silos”. Entertainment fills their hours, with little need to connect with others. Lives that are super-saturated with electronic media can keep young people from experiencing positive and life-altering events.
In fact, “Teenage isolation and loneliness result in a wide range of unhealthy physical and psychological symptoms.” (www.newportacademy.com/resources/empowering-teens/teenage-isolation) Obesity, withdrawal from family, poor grades, lack of interest in the future, anger, self-denigration, eating disorders, addictions, depression, and even thoughts of suicide can all result from the isolation of loneliness.
Loneliness is a health risk that has to be addressed by parents and other caring adults.
So how can we help teens become media-savvy about the culture that surrounds them?
Here are some ideas to help teens expand their lives and increase social interaction.
• Have a specific family time each week. Resist counting time watching sporting events that teens are participating in as “family time”. Select activities that encourage conversation.
• As a family, create rules for car time. If earbuds or cell phones have all but eliminated discussion in the car, set guidelines for the amount of time these are permitted. For example, they may be appropriate for long trips, but not for quick trips to school or the grocery store.
• Encourage teens to try new activities, such as robotics, rock-climbing, sports, theater groups, or book clubs. These stimulate interaction and may cause new friendships to develop.
• Help teens cultivate an interest in a local charity group. They can join an outreach team from their church or school that focuses their attention on helping others.
• Create a daily “question of the day” for dinner time. Not trivial pursuit – these should be “open-ended questions that are people-based, such as, “If you received $1000 that you had to spend in the next 24 hours – but couldn’t spend any of it on yourself – how would you spend it?” Questions should reinforce original thinking, with no put-downs or negative responses allowed.
• Family plan: once a week, have “travel time”. Select a news story about people that is from another country. Have them share it with the family and discuss why they picked it and if they think the same story could happen in America.
• Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your teen about the importance of interacting with others and check your own behavior to make sure you are modeling the love of Christ with everyone.
• Remind teens that we have a responsibility to treat others with respect. Share this scripture:
“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.” Ephesians 5:21 (The Message)
Note: Share this blog with your church’s youth pastor as a lesson for youth group gatherings.
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Sue Summers is a Christian media analyst, teacher, author, and speaker.
She is the Director of Media Alert!
Contact Info:
Blogs: MediaSavvyKids.org
Website: http://www.MediaAlert.org
Email: Sue@MediaAlert.org
#MediaSavvyKids, #ChristianParenting, #ChurchAndCulture, #YouthPastors, #YouthGroupCurriculum, #HelpForChristianParents, #TeensAndCulture, #AChangingCulture, #CriticalThinkingAndTeens, #IAmNotDefinedByTheCulture, #TeenLoneliness, #MoreInteractionTime, #LessEarbuds=MoreDiscussions, #FamilyDynamics
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© Sue Summers 2025
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